


Midnight Confessions

by Claretgirl16



Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-09-23 11:58:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17079920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claretgirl16/pseuds/Claretgirl16
Summary: Hello....so far this is just an inkling of a potential idea that came to me a few days ago, it was that much of an inkling that it wouldn't go away and I decided that I wanted to write at least one chapter and see how it went from there, something different to my other works and an alternative universe, but yes, so far that's it.





	1. Chapter 1

First day nerves.  
Oh yes they definitely were there.  
How could they not been.  
It's a good thing isn't it?  
Especially in this environment.  
The hospital life.  
Working in the NHS.  
There's meant to be some form of nerves isn't there?  
Gets the adrenaline going.  
One of the many things that makes this line of work exciting.  
Never two days are the same.  
You don't know what's going to come through the doors.  
If there's an emergency around the corner.  
Something to make you leap into action.  
All hands on deck.  
No time for too much thinking.  
Action.  
Brains engaged.  
Team work.  
Helping the patients.  
Getting them the treatment they need.  
Saving lives.  
All pulling together.  
Putting people back together, sometimes literally.

 

"You're the new F1?" the voice that brought me out of my haze, out of my nerves if only temporarily. "Dr Donovan, Ms Campbell" the hand coming straight into my personal space, an offer to shake it that I took.

 

She certainly seemed like a leader, the person in charge of AAU.  
She had that air about her.  
That...'I'm in charge' vibe.  
Not a bad thing.  
Not at all.  
And so it began, let the fun and games commence.

 

It started quite steady, a flow of patients but nothing too major for me to start with, Ms Campbell, Serena starting me on someone with a minor injury that needed some basic first aid to it, the cut an easy one to stitch up, paperwork complete and then that sorted that man out.  
I was quite pleased to be honest, something simple or not too much to start the shift and especially so when you're well aware that Serena's eyes are on you, watching you, seeing how you perform, that would explain my somewhat shaky hands at the time, not the best when you need to stitch, but we got there, no hands slipped nor was there any extra blood, thank god.

 

"All ready to be discharged now" I said, passing her the paperwork needed as she sat at the nurse's station at the computer, it seemed like a place she liked to sit at in terms of being able to survey the ward, have a wide scope of all things, keep an eye on things, on us, or should that be mostly me, if I was being totally honest at the time it did feel like the latter, she was watching me and by sitting there to work she could watch me wherever I went.

 

Was this a good or bad thing?  
It wasn't exactly good for the nerves on your first shift on your first day, but well on the flip side of this, I suppose there were a great many more worse people to have watching you, much worse.

 

"Oh right.." taking the papers from me as she looked up from her computer, her face softening from one of concentration to a little smile."That was quick" an air of surprise to her tone, was this a good surprise or one of scepticism?  
"It's all done, done properly, you can check it if you'd like" I had done it all properly, well too I'd thought, but thought the offer of her checking was a wise one to say.  
Her eyes silently looked at me for a couple of seconds, something about this silent look give me a slight shiver, having those brown eyes fixed solely on you.  
"It's ok, I believe you, I'll sort these now and then he can be discharged" her smooth answer just in time to calm me from thinking maybe she would be going to check my work.  
It was nice to have gotten that bit of reassurance from her, that she trusted me with this, so much so on my first patient that she trusted I'd done a good job like I'd assured her I had.

 

No sooner had she taken the paperwork from me, she was passing me another patient to deal with, she really was seeing what I could do today on my first shift, keeping me on my toes, keeping me busy and seeing if I could handle the things that she wanted to throw my way, running the gauntlet of AAU then?  
Clutching the papers I made my way to where she'd pointed me, scanning my eyes over the name of who I was going to treat and what was the matter, I wanted to know at least a little of what I was walking into so I was ready.

 

"She doesn't hang around does she?" Donna said as she approached her boss and friend at the nurse's station to sit at the computer.  
"Hmm?" Serena asked, turning to look at the senior staff nurse from looking at the papers in front of her.  
"Dr Donovan there, she's quite the lively F1 isn't she, quick with it on many fronts" both of them casting their eyes across the ward to where Nova was stood with the lady patient Serena had just given her to deal with.  
"Yes it seems that she is" Serena replied, her eyes back down to the patients papers, after another look at Nova with her patient and then a quick glance around the ward.  
The younger woman unaware that her boss and one of her senior colleagues were talking about her as she continued with her work across on the other side of the ward.


	2. Chapter 2

Seconds out round two, or day two in this case.  
With the sights and sounds of the hospital, it's car park and main entrance filling her senses, Nova made her way across the path of the little front garden with the memorial bench, and then through the main doors, her nostrils being filled with the smells coming from Pulses.

 

This was the first port of call.  
Caffeine.  
Set off the day right.  
A bit of a boost to start.

 

Stood in the queue and wandering her eyes around the cafe and the decor, Nova wasn't aware of anyone stood behind or near her until someone came banging into her, causing her to stumble where she stood, luckily not falling over from the unexpected impact.  
Finding her balance she was just about to whip round and give the clumsy bastard a mouthful, this was until she did indeed turn around to see that it was Serena that had bumped into her, the older woman bending down in front of her to pick up her two folders that she'd dropped in the process, mumbling to herself as she did so.  
"I'm sorry about that..." looking up to see that it was Nova that she'd banged into. "Sorry Nova" seeing the younger woman move out of the queue and bend down with her to help her pick up her papers that had escaped from one of the folders.

 

Rising to their feet Nova looked over her flustered boss, clearly a bit stressed as she stood there.  
"It looks like you might be able to use a coffee this morning?".  
Serena gave a weak chuckle.  
"Yes you could say that due to the fact I should've been in early this morning to go through some of these papers ready for the meeting that I have in a couple of hours, well less than that now given the time, but due to me missing my alarm this may not happen as well I would've liked it too" her tight smile showing her frustration and rushed journey to work, as she automatically moved into and then down the queue with her younger colleague, looking on as Nova ordered herself a coffee and then got Serena to order what she'd like, paying for them both and handing the takeaway cup over.  
"Thank you, let me give you the money for this" being stopped before she could start reaching for her handbag as Nova spoke, the younger brunette with her hair neatly tucked behind her ears not having it.  
"You don't need to do that, it's just a coffee it's fine" watching as Serena's expression softened at the kind gesture.  
"Thank you and sorry again for before and chewing your ear off, it's not your fault, I shouldn't be moaning at you".  
"It's fine Serena, how about we just head on up to the ward and you can stop saying sorry too" the light hearted and understanding reply something Serena was grateful for under the circumstances.

 

Coffees in hand they rode the elevator up to AAU, Nova making her way to the locker room to change into her scrubs and Serena into the ward and then into her office.  
Ready to face the day with her uniform of scrubs on, coffee drank, Nova made her way into the ward and over to Donna who called her name for some help with a patient she had, the young F1 happy to help.

 

"....I know I need to be there very soon, I'm just trying to make sure things are fine here, yes I'll be there for when it starts in ten minutes, yes.." putting the phone down at the nurse's station and giving a big sigh where she stood, this big sigh catching the incoming F1's attention.  
Pausing before immediately speaking, Nova then took the silence as an opportunity.  
"Everything alright?" this seeming to bring the other woman back to AAU from her daydream and look to the voice.  
"Oh yes, just the joy of this meeting, I need to go to it, been told so by the powers that be, but it means leaving the ward for however long, they know we're a bit short staffed today, not that this matters to them, not when there is lovely meetings to attend and..." stopping herself speaking as she realised she did sound like she did this morning outside Pulses, her face saying it all for her, no other words were needed.

 

"Well...there's enough of us here to hold the fort until your meeting is done, I mean I'm sure we can cope alright unless there's a massive emergency? You obviously are wanted at this meeting and need to be there, so....erm...well...why don't you go to it and we can look after things here till you get back, nurse Jackson is here and nurse Fletcher to help cover for the shortage of staff, as am I and the others" seeing her boss look back at her as she spoke, she suddenly wondered if she'd spoken out of turn, Serena was the boss after all, her boss, it was her choice who looked after the ward and suggested such things not a new F1.

 

Nice going Nova.  
Talk about putting both feet in it, not just one.  
Bloody fantastic.  
Who do you think you are?!  
What are you doing, saying?!  
Second day and look what's happened.

 

"Are...Are you sure?" the response that the younger woman wasn't expecting, the one that allowed her to breathe that bit easier.

 

Right now is your chance to answer correctly.  
A lifeline.

 

"Y..Yeah, I mean I'm sure nurse Jackson and nurse Fletcher wouldn't mind either, it's not for that long" giving a little shrug to Serena as she tried to find a reply to the senior surgeon, and then watching Donna and Fletch being met half way across the ward by Serena who spoke to them in a little group conversation, but Nova was unable to hear exactly what was being said from where she stood.

 

Fucking fantastic Nova.  
You may just have succeeded in getting yourself booted out of the job on the second day.  
That must be a first anywhere in the country.  
Stupid F1 speaks completely out of turn and get the sack.  
Fucking great going love.  
Stupid idiot you are.

 

With a knot in her stomach she had to divert her eyes onto the file in front of her, not to read it, but so she could attempt to brace herself for the massive fall out that was about to happen to her very soon.  
"It seems I'm going to my meeting" announced Serena as she came back over and started to gather her folders together, this response allowing the F1 to let out the breath she'd been painfully holding, her chest glad of the relief and her stomach too, the knot loosening.

 

Moving away to head into her office as Nova sat down at the computer to input some patient details, raising her eyes to the returning Ms Campbell as she stood looking over the ward and then down at the younger woman looking at her, becoming aware that Nova could sense that she was hanging around still and not heading for the meeting she was due at.  
It seemed the one look from the F1 did it.  
"I'm going, I'm going" a little knowing smile playing on her lips, this smile being returned by the younger woman, with files in hand she made her way away from the station and out of the AAU doors.

 

Within a couple of hours the boss was back, Serena returning to the ward and straight over to the nurse's station, if she was honest not quite knowing what to expect, after all she'd left a new F1 with Donna and Fletch, in hindsight had this been wise, what was she actually thinking, not very much apart from the bloody meeting it seemed.

 

But then it hit her.  
The calm.  
Calm but bustling ward.  
No shouting.  
Running.  
Dashing around.  
But staff just getting on with their jobs.  
Patients being treated.  
Her eyes taking in the ward operating rather calmly.

 

Donna and Fletch were at the station, she was standing up, he was at the computer, Serena taking the empty chair next to them both.  
"Everything alright is it?" Serena asked getting their attentions.  
"Yeah it's fine".  
"No problems here" Fletch agreed.  
"Good, good, and how is...how is the new F1 doing, Nova since I've been out?" not quite sure what she was expecting them to say about the younger woman.

 

Let's face it she was younger.  
Well not teenage young.  
But young.  
Younger than her.  
By what twenty years or so.  
I'm sure I read she was thirty on her file.

 

"No problem at all boss" Fletch smiled as he looked over a patient file.  
"She has been good I must say, it seems we might just have been given a rather good F1, if I'm honest she's one of the nicest ones I've worked with in a while, especially given some we've had come through our doors".  
Serena nodded as she listened, a wave of relief at it being the right call to listen to Nova's suggestion at going to her, and leaving the ward in the hands of Donna, Fletch and trust Nova to be able to cope for a few hours under the supervision of the two senior nurse's.  
"This is good to hear, you've all done well" her eyes moving from sharing a smile with Donna to finding the young F1 on the other side of the ward and seeing that she was dealing with a patient, Serena looking at her a few moments more and then re gathering her files and going to put them into her office.


	3. Chapter 3

The end of a bonkers shift, oh what a joy.

 

Heading out of the main entrance, Serena had just started to place her foot on the ramp when she sees a figure in front of her not three feet ahead, the young woman is pulling their coat collar up around their neck so prevent it catching the wind, and then proceeds to put her hands into her pockets, a tan, leather messenger bag across her body, she too is heading down the ramp and towards the car park, out of work.

 

It's Nova.  
The younger woman unaware of her boss behind her, until.

 

"Nova?".  
The call of her name and she stops, turning on the spot to see who wants her, on seeing Serena behind her she gives her a warm smile.  
"Hey".

 

With her attention gained, Serena comes in front of her, returning her smile.  
"Hello, I'm glad that I've caught you, I just wanted to say thank you for today, by you doing and suggesting what you did, it allowed me to go to my meeting, which in turn took some of the pressure off. It helped me out, you did a good job".

 

And it had done.  
Without the young woman's suggestion, Serena may not have made it to her meeting, or if she had she'd have had most of her mind back on AAU, worrying whether or not she'd actually have a ward and patients left to come back to at all, but Nova's idea made sense, and she was able to go to said meeting knowing two senior staff members, plus Nova and the other staff were there to run it until she got back.

 

"That's no problem, I'm just glad I was able to help you out, to make things a bit easier".

 

Then a thought.  
A little idea.  
A suggestion.  
A prompt.  
A question.

 

"Are...Are you in a rush home?" Serena asked the younger woman.  
"Oh yes, definitely, I'm in the biggest rush to get back to my apartment, I can't wait to make my way into the place that hasn't had the heating on all day whilst I've been at work, so will probably resemble an ice box and not be too bad at storing frozen food, until I put the heating on and it then kicks in" was the joking answer of Nova, her tone conveying the joke and sarcasm in said answer, plus the smile and little shake of her head to Serena, the surgeon giving a soft snigger at the reply, finding it funny.  
"Time for a glass of wine?".  
"Yeah sure, why not" Nova said, following the lead of Serena to one of the smaller bars not far from the hospital, somewhere different to Albie's, the older woman wanting to go somewhere different to Albie's, a bit of a change, especially after the day that had just happened, both women chatting generally on the short walk there.

 

Entering the bar, Serena suggested that Nova go and get them both a table and she'd go to the bar for the drinks, it seemed the older woman wasn't going to be dissuaded from paying for these drinks, no matter what Nova might have said to her, so the younger woman didn't argue, she went and found them both a table, opting for one in the corner, a quiet one where they would be able to talk.

 

Bottle in one hand, two wine glasses in the other, Serena made her way through the other tables to the one that Nova was sat at, handing her colleague one of the glasses, coat off, bag down and then wine was being poured by the surgeon for them both, a little clink of their glasses too.

 

After a few sips and small talk, a bottle of beer being brought to the table by the younger woman, leaving the rest of the wine to the surgeon, Nova broached the subject she'd felt like she needed too, especially after the days events.  
"I erm...I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn today, y'know about the suggestion of Fletch and Donna covering the ward whilst you went to your meeting, I didn't mean it to come across wrong if that's what it did. All I was doing was trying to help you out, help the ward out in the process" then she took another sip from her bottle as she waited for the woman across from her to answer.

 

She isn't sure if she's said or done something wrong.  
A shake of the head from Serena before she then spoke.  
"You've done nothing to be sorry for, I actually liked how you did what you did today. You actually saw that there was a situation that needed to be sorted out one way or the other, you assessed the problem, thought about numbers in terms of staffing and how long I maybe at said meeting, and then you came to a sensible conclusion, one that fit the circumstances in that moment. You used your initiative, and in doing this you allowed me to leave the ward and attend my meeting, and then come back to AAU running well in the afternoon, no one was running around out of control or anything, it was a good call" as she herself then took a sip from her glass, her brown eyes looking at Nova as she did so.

 

Listening to Serena's reassuring words and praise for the entire situation, unable to help herself flash the older woman a happy smile, one that showed a peek of her white teeth, said smile developing into a soft grin, something that Serena found herself liking to see, so much so that she returned Nova's smile, one that reached all the way to her own eyes, one that the younger woman sitting next to her, drinking her beer had very much noticed, it was nice to see her boss smile, be less stressed than during the day today, and Nova was even more happy due to the fact that she'd helped lower said stress if even a little bit.


	4. Chapter 4

Night shifts.  
As a rule they weren't the worst.  
Well not if they were reasonable.  
Reasonable being not out of control.  
Crazy.  
Full of emergencies.  
And or difficult patients who seemed determined not to co operate.

 

An operation was part of the night shift for Serena, as well as being busy with other patients on the ward, the queue of which eventually got smaller, eventually.  
But said amount of patients meant paperwork, the paperwork that the lead of AAU had stayed behind to get through, and it was a couple of hours worth that she'd had to do, oh the joy of admin work on the ward, not!

 

Paperwork done, well most of it, Serena headed home to sleep, well at least that was the idea, it was one of those situations where you got in, got into bed and tossed and turned every possible way you could in a bed, sleep coming in spits and starts, not what you could consider restful and refreshing at all.

 

That's why the following night shift, the Serena that entered the ward was one who was feeling a bit worse for wear through tiredness, team this with her working late the night or should that be morning before, and it left her tolerance for literally everything that bit lower than it normally would have been, bloody lack of sleep.

 

Another emergency operation complete, the patient sent up to ITU where hopefully a full recovery was going to happen, it was back to the dealings on AAU, the collection of patients who also needed to be sorted out and treated, a whole array of them were in today, they were in and out in all directions, be it going out to other departments for whatever problems they had, x-rays, scans, nurses in and out taking blood tests, collecting tests, you name it it was and all had been going on on AAU today, not to mention the added pain in the arse of having a small shortage of staff, these spread thin today due to holidays, sickness, or just general amounts of patients in other parts of the hospital and therefore staff had been moved.

 

And then it happened, the incident that was the of lighting fuse of the powder keg, powder keg being Serena's temper, the temper that had been simmering under the surface, along with her low tolerance due to lack of sleep and running around like a headless chicken, being pulled in all directions.

 

It was something simple that in 'normal' circumstances wouldn't have bothered the surgeon, but in this particular scenario she reacted, something as simple as one of the nurses missing ticking one of the boxes on a set of blood tests that Serena had asked her do and send to the lab, when they'd returned and the surgeon had looked over the results she couldn't see this particular result on the screen, this led to raising her voice and shouting at said nurse to get the tests done again seen as she isn't able to read the full results because one is missing, after this uncustomary outburst the surgeon stormed across the ward and into her office, giving the door a slight slam as she did, enough that the closed blinds inside rattled lightly against the windows.

 

Having been sat at the nurse's station and not three feet away from all of this, Nova had seen and heard everything that had gone on, seeing Serena's reaction to such a simple thing that had happened and then seeing the woman storm into her office, not like her usual self when she was at work or out of it.

 

Knock knock.

 

"What?!" Serena answered sharply from the other side of the office door, her frustration and irritation clear in her tone.

 

Pushing the door silently open, Nova stepped into the office, or should that be the lion's den?

 

Hearing the door opening Serena raised her head from having it in her hands, her eyes looking at who had stepped into her office, seeing Nova closing the door behind her, the surgeon saying nothing at the visitor.

 

So Nova broke the silence.

 

"I was just checking that you were ok, especially given how stressful last night's night shift was and all" she said, being on the shift too and she herself working a couple of hours extra, with Serena still being in the office with the paperwork when she'd left, she knew it must have been an even longer shift for her boss.

 

This was something that she wasn't expecting, someone to notice the fact she had reacted because she was tired, that she'd stayed behind even later than some of the staff and this was maybe something that had contributed to her mood on the ward tonight and into the early hours of the morning. 

 

Let alone someone following after her to ask if she was alright, to have that concern to ask the question, to want to see how she was, especially not an F1, it'd never happened before.

 

Taking a deep breath she opened her mouth to speak.  
"Yes, it has been rather stressful, probably not helped by the fact I didn't sleep the best today, I was tossing and turning for quite a while, this hasn't helped matters tonight" finding herself telling the younger woman the reason for her outburst, getting it off her chest and actually vocalising the reason for her short temper and low tolerance that she'd been trying to keep a lid on for the majority of the shift.

 

A look to the clock on the wall from Nova seeing the time.  
"We've got a few hours left of this shift, and I'm due a break since I've not had one for quite some time, I don't suppose a coffee would help with the last hours of this shift would it?" seeing her boss nod that yes it would help, caffeine seemed to help a bit in these situations, especially today it seemed. "I'll be right back, won't be long" leaving the office and heading down to Pulses after collecting some money from her locker.

 

Returning a short while later, Nova re entered the office with two coffees in her hand, moving next to Serena's desk and handing it over to the other woman, as she did so their fingers made contact, brushing softly, it catching them both off guard a bit, but not feeling unpleasant as it happened.  
Serena herself feeling a shiver come over her as she felt the touch of Nova's skin against her own, even if it was slight, not expecting her own reaction.

 

Nova took one of the chairs next to the older woman's desk, both sipping and enjoying their coffees, the silent comfortable between them.

 

"You should give yourself more of a break y'know. You do such an awesome job, work such long hours and are a brilliant surgeon, as well as being a lovely person and an attractive woman" clearing her throat and then taking another sip of her coffee as she saw Serena's eyes fix on her, on her admittance, yes she wasn't expecting that from the F1's mouth over coffee.

 

Finding her words scrambling in her head at what she'd just heard said about her, just when they'd started making sense the office door was knocked on, a nurse putting her head in and asking if Nova could come and assist with a patient on the ward, one that she'd been helping with previously.

 

It seemed good timing, for the F1 at least, as she confirmed she'd be right there and the other nurse left, the young woman rose from the chair, placing her coffee cup on the edge of Serena's desk, both women sharing a lingering look before the door closed behind the younger woman.

 

Sat in her chair, clutching her cup, tearing her eyes from the door and then to the coffee cup left on her desk, Serena's mind repeated a few times the words she'd just heard come from Nova's lips, a straightforward admittance that she found Serena attractive, that she was attracted to her.

 

This younger woman was attracted to her.  
Attracted to Serena Campbell.  
Could she say it wasn't mutual?


	5. Chapter 5

Roller skates is something that Nova felt may have come in handy today, the amount of running around she'd been doing on her shift.  
Here, there and everywhere she'd been.  
Her legs felt like they'd covered a few marathons miles wise, she must have the most sculpted legs on the shift, or at least that's what they felt like they should be like.

 

Due to it being one of those manic days in the hospital, it not letting up since the night shifts a few days prior, the lab seemed to be feeling it too, hence the reason for her going to collect the results herself, it seeming to be too long a wait on the ward to wait for said results, bloody backlog.

 

Using her card to let herself back into AAU, results in hand, she smiled at one of the departing porters, her eye catching Serena disappearing around the corner to go into office, the direction she herself went in, lightly tapping on the door.  
"Yes?".  
"Mr Lawson's results" answered Nova, handing the pieces of paper over to her boss, standing on the spot next to Serena's desk as the older woman wandered her eyes over the papers she'd been handed. "You look nice" the soft comment that made the surgeon's eyes stop reading, and raise up to the woman at her side.  
"Excuse me?" a slight frown over her brows.  
"I said you look nice" the tone still as soft as the first time she'd said it, it was true she thought Serena did look nice, she suited her cerise blouse, teamed with her silver locks and little hints of makeup and jewellery.

 

The comment caused the woman in question to drop her eyes to look at what she was wearing, returning them to Nova, clearing her throat.  
"You...You shouldn't say that kind of thing to me you know" now it was Nova's turn to have a soft frown on her face.  
"Why not, am I not allowed to compliment an attractive lady when I think she looks nice?" was the sincere reply, the F1 not waiting for Serena's answer as she exited the office, the door being closed behind her.

 

Watching her go, Serena placed the papers on her desk, taking a moment at the exchange that just happened between them, another one it seemed. Giving the back of her neck a little rub, not used to the compliment she'd just been paid, not used to many compliments from women, and definitely not younger women, younger women who were not exactly unattractive.

 

Eyes down to her outfit again, the outfit that Nova had complimented her on, the words about her looking nice echoing in her mind as she wandered her eyes over what she was wearing.

 

This is a first Campbell.  
A younger woman is complimenting you.  
Telling you that you're attractive.  
That you look nice.  
That you're a nice person.  
Good at your job.  
She's forward definitely, but it's not aggressive.  
It's a genuine vibe.  
It's soft.  
Sincere dare I say.  
She's a nice person too.  
She's helpful, kind, self aware, hard working, looking out for others, noticing your outbursts.  
Not to mention she's not exactly unattractive.  
Oh come off it Campbell you find her good looking.  
You're attracted to her.  
You are.  
Rather flattering isn't it Campbell?

 

Taking a few more minutes for herself, Serena then ventured out of her office, her work head back on and working, moving around the ward treating the various patients still here, before she moved over to the nurse's station, taking up one of the chairs behind the computer, grateful of the sit down again, that broken and lack of sleep was a bitch.  
Whilst using said computer, her eyes on the screen, she caught something out of the corner of her eye, a figure, the one not far from her leaning on the top of the station filling out some of her own paperwork for a patient, Nova.

 

The young woman passing around the back of both the other member of staff at the other computer, as well as Serena, crossing to her own patient, the clipboard and file in her hands. On reaching her destination, she took a moment to look up from the papers and cast her gaze back to where she'd just been stood, her eyes catching the brown pair of Serena's looking directly at her, the older woman then quickly averting her eyes back to the computer she was working at after seeing Nova catching her looking, this action making a little smile creep over the younger woman's face.

 

I saw you looking Serena.  
Looking at me.  
And you know I saw you.  
Not that she'd admit to this.  
From what I know of her.  
But I definitely saw you looking Serena.  
Looking straight over at me.

 

The feeling of catching the older woman looking at her, making Nova feel a certain fuzzy and warm feeling inside, one she'd not experienced before, Serena it seems was being responsible for a lot of 'first' feelings.


	6. Chapter 6

Busy was good wasn't it?  
Keep you on your toes.  
Helps you gain more experience.  
Prove yourself that bit more.  
Show you can work under pressure?

 

These were a few of the thoughts in the F1's head as she had been running around the ward since she'd come in, the patients beating her into the ward this morning, almost like they were waiting for her.

 

Serena was in too, the lead of AAU had done her best to ring around the entire hospital to try and find any extra pairs of hands that she could get, pinching any extra bodies and help she could get to temporarily try and shift the influx of patients that the ward had had come into them, the problem with this is the waiting, once she'd asked the waiting game began of finding out if actually anyone could be sent down to AAU to help her out, in the mean time they just had to carry on with who they had staff wise, managing as best they could do.

 

Was it classed as a break if you dashed for a wee and gulped down a glass full of water from the staff room, probably not but it seemed that this was the best the young woman was going to get at the moment given the crazy and busy situation on the ward, surprising herself that she'd managed to snatch these precious moments to herself to attempt a slight refuel, well a glass of water wise at least, you know it's manic busy when you will yourself to wee quicker so that you can hurry up back to the ward!

 

Fletch was at the nurse's station, his hands literally full of patient files, looking like he was struggling to hold them all let alone treat them, stepping in Nova offered to take a couple of them off his hands in more ways than one, telling him to add a couple to her own patient list and that she'd take care of them for him, thanking her he moved the files to the F1's pile as Nova herself headed across the ward with another file in her hand and back to what she was doing before she nipped out.

 

Cleared.  
Oh what a wonderful word this was.  
Especially in regards to patients and 'getting rid of them' as the phrase went.  
Of course you were glad to treat them and help them, that goes without saying hence why you're in this line of work, but clearing some from your pile was such a good feeling.  
Even more so when it is full on manic and crazy on the ward, and you can't tell your arse from your elbow.

 

A few hours later, with only a couple of patients left that weren't urgent, Nova was sat at the nurse's station filling in some paperwork for said patients she'd cleared, making sure everything was up to date and organised, looking up as she heard Donna call her name.  
"I don't suppose you could give us a hand with one of my lot on this list could you?".

 

She could've said no.  
That she wanted to try and sort out her own patients.  
That she'd not had a proper break all shift.  
That Donna was senior and should manage on her own.  
But that wasn't Nova.  
She didn't want to let anyone down.  
Didn't want to think she didn't pull her weight.  
That she couldn't cope under the pressure.  
That she wasn't cut out for AAU or Holby itself for that matter.  
She liked it here.  
So she agreed.

 

What was thought of as a quick job, turned into an hour or so later, oh the joy of awkward and un cooperative patients, bloody try to help some of them and they insist on making the job a living hell for as long as you're just willing them to let you help them.

 

Finally Nova made it back to her chair and little pile of paperwork, had that bloody grown since she'd been away, of course it had when she'd forgotten that she had missed a patient of Fletch's that she'd not done the admin work for.

 

Paperwork does actually breed in here!

 

Running around here, there and everywhere she'd been, trying to get everything done, not just her own work but that that she'd taken on from Fletch and Donna, the F1 hardly having any kind of moment to herself, in order that she was able to get or have a proper break, this was all despite no doubt needing one to just sit for a few minutes and refuel with food, liquid and just taking the weight of her feet, as well as her mind.

 

Despite all of this she'd ploughed through, maybe to her detriment, telling herself that she'd do one more thing and then have a break, but it hadn't happened, another thing or patient would appear, sometimes as if from nowhere. Going against maybe what she should've done, Nova carried on, telling herself that due to her being the new F1 on the ward and in the hospital, having Serena as her boss, she wanted to do her best, to be as busy as she could, that she needed to prove herself, and prove herself properly and thoroughly.

 

Add in the fact the ward was a bit short staffed at the moment, she needed to keep going, despite her having hardly any breaks or time to get some food and or liquid on board, it was up to her to just get on wasn't it? 

 

To not let anyone down or to be seen as not being able to cope, to handle pressure, to not crack and or moan about feeling a little depleted because she'd taken on the amount of work she had, she was a F1, an F1 who wanted to do well and show her capability, her want for the job and that she was capable.  
Stifling a little yawn as she once again sat at the computer, Nova scolded herself internally, telling herself to stop yawning and keep going, that she was nearly there, finishing on the computer, she hauled herself up and to her feet, file in hand and moving to what she hoped was her last activities of the day.


	7. Chapter 7

Get it together Nova.  
F1's need to prove themselves.  
But you especially because you're thirty.  
You need to prove you're up to the job, that you can do this.  
That you're worthy.

 

Just a few of the mantra's going through the brunette's head as she headed into the main building the next morning, early of course.

 

Heading into the locker room she changed into her scrubs, and then down the corridor and into AAU, even Serena wasn't in yet, a couple of other staff were but not the boss yet, well early is good...isn't it?

 

Smiling at one of the outgoing porter's as she stepped into AAU clutching a coffee from Pulses, Serena's smile then turned into a confused frown as she spotted Nova on the ward and dealing with a patient, her eyes looking to the clock on the wall, this deepening said frown as she walked over to Donna who was stood at the nurse's station.  
"Morning Serena" Donna greeted her cheerfully.  
"Morning...what time did Nova get in here this morning?" taking a sip of her coffee after she'd asked.  
Donna glanced to the F1 on the other side of the ward and then Serena.  
"She was in early this morning, I'd say she's been in...about an hour or just over" giving her boss a smile and then moving over to her patient, leaving the surgeon stood on her own for a moment or so.

 

She worked late yesterday afternoon, or should that be night.  
She's been in early this morning and other mornings for the past week or so.  
The younger woman had been running around the ward, and given how busy things had been it might well have been running, the F1 hadn't stopped.  
What Nova was doing at the moment wasn't a million miles from what Serena herself had done as a junior doctor.  
I stayed late, came in early.  
Worked all the hours god sent.  
Took on extra work from other people on the ward.  
Not wanting to let anyone down, especially the senior doctors.  
Giving it my all, my literal all.  
It seems what I did all them years ago is what Nova is currently doing.  
She doesn't want to be seen as incapable.  
That she isn't up to the job.  
To prove herself.  
That she can do the job, even though I know that she is.  
That she can handle pressure.  
That she is as good as the younger F1's in the hospital.  
Which so far she seems to be, without needing to run herself into the ground, which seems to be the direction that she's heading for.

 

Keeping her eye on Nova as the shift started for those first few hours, at first the younger woman seemed ok, maybe running on adrenaline from the first rush of being in so early, but then things started to change, she wasn't as efficient, the signs of fatigue were starting to show.  
The things that hadn't been a problem for her at the beginning of the week, suddenly started to be done slower, she walked slower around the ward whilst getting things done, faltering on little things that she'd had no problem at all with at the beginning of her time on AAU, things she was more than capable of doing.  
Something had to give before she did.  
And this was something that Serena had to do something about, and fast.

 

Starting with her asking to have a word with Nova, at the same time as asking one of the other members of staff to take over from the F1, both of them then heading into the office, privacy of course.  
Nova stood by the door, Serena perched on the end of her desk, the younger woman waiting to see what her boss wanted to speak to her about.

 

Take the floor Serena.

 

"You seem rather tired and fatigued today" straight to the heart of the matter, no point in messing around or going around the houses was there.  
"I'm not, I'm alright" not exactly the most convincing answer, certainly not convincing the woman in front of her.  
"In this line of work it's normal for us to be tired, the hours we do etc etc, and none of us are any good here if we're exhausted, maybe you need to get off earlier today and get some rest" seeing the tiredness in the younger woman's face, but her stubbornness there too, not wanting to be seen to let anyone down.  
Again Nova objected, trying to convince Serena that she was fine, this was the point that maybe the surgeon got that little bit too firm, the F1 being that little bit more vulnerable in her tired and exhausted state, another similarity there Serena?

 

"As your boss, I'm sending you home to get some rest, you're no good here on AAU when you're exhausted and tired, so you can go home early today" seeing the expression shift in Nova's face and eyes as her words hit the F1's ears.

 

A nerve had been hit.  
The green and greyish eyes filling up at the words.

 

"And...and I thought that I was doing alright on here...doing well..." turning to the door, grabbing the handle and leaving the room clearly upset, all this happening before Serena could even get another word out of her mouth, raising from the edge of her desk, ready to follow and go and catch up with Nova, but being stopped when her office phone started ringing, being unable to leave it in case of it being some kind of emergency, her eyes focused on the path the younger woman had taken as she picked up the receiver to answer the call.

 

Duty calls.


	8. Chapter 8

Having made it home an hour or so ago to her flat, Nova had quickly discarded her clothes and changed into her pyjamas bottoms and a loose fitting t shirt, curling up on her sofa crying, well if truth be told she'd done a lot of that since she heard Serena basically pushing her verbally out of the ward and sending her home, not leaving her much doubt that she was telling her she was going home, that it wasn't negotiable.

 

Lifting her head up from the cushion she was currently led against as she heard a knock on the front door, Nova sniffled at the sound, heaving herself to her feet, sighing at the interruption.

 

Haven't things been fucking bad enough today?  
Who the hell is this now?  
Can't everyone just go away!?

 

Sighing heavily she trudged down the corridor and to the door, clicking the lock off and slowly opening the door, her puffy and red eyes from all the crying widening slightly at the figure stood on the other side, one she didn't expect.

 

Serena.

 

The older woman giving a tentative smile at seeing the F1.  
"I..I wanted to come round just to see how you were, I didn't like the fact that you left work upset like that, and so I wanted to make sure you were ok" wanting to make sure Nova was ok, feeling guilty that the younger woman was so distressed as she left before, it not being her intention to make her feel that way, her concern genuine.

 

Whether it was the fact it was Serena at her door.  
Or the concern that the older woman was showing for her.  
That was did care and want to ask after her, hence her coming here after work.  
The stressful week and lack of sleep.  
Or a combination of all of the above, caused once again the green/grey eyes to fill up with emotion, something that Serena saw straight away, along with Nova's bottom lip quivering, this causing the surgeon to take the lead and step through the door, into the flat, gathering the crying woman in front of her into her arms and murmuring softly to her as she closed the door with her foot, and led them both through to the living room, and then onto the sofa.

 

"I never meant to upset you, seeing at work how tired and exhausted you looked I thought that it'd be best that you went home and got some rest, to be able to then come back into work all refreshed and rested. In the heat of the moment of that conversation in the office, it seems that maybe it didn't quite come across that way. I'm sorry for the upset that I've caused you, it wasn't meant, I don't like to see you upset Nova, it's not pleasant in the slightest for me to witness" keeping the younger woman close in her arms, as she spoke softly to her.  
Slowly she felt Nova start to calm and settle in her embrace, ceasing her crying, her breathing slowing down to a more regular pace too. Feeling a little shuffling as Nova moved her head from its place on Serena's shoulder, her eyes meeting the older woman's brown orbs, their gazes holding and then wandering over the others face.  
This close contact allowed Serena a close up view of the younger woman's pretty face and features, Nova also getting to see the older woman's features more clearly than she ever had at work. 

 

Silence descended on them both and over the atmosphere in the room.  
Breath being felt on either woman's face from the other woman, especially their lips.  
Like magnets they were drawn to each other, two sets of lips coming together, not a harsh or frenzied motion, but a steady and meaningful one, sensual, lingering, equal effort from either woman.   
Both women cupping the other woman's face and an arm around their body, gently but firmly as their kiss deepened, both clearly caught up in the moment, a bubble of sorts.

 

It seemed that in that atmosphere of quiet, calm and without any type of audience or risk of anyone else seeing them together in any kind of capacity, the 'thing' that had started lightly bubbling between them had spilled a little over and had resulted in the clinch that they both found themselves in in Nova's living room, sat on the sofa together.

 

After a few minutes.  
A shift.  
Bam!  
A jolt.  
From the older woman.

 

Serena suddenly pulling apart from Nova, releasing all contact with her, locking eyes with the younger woman and then frantically apologising for what had just happened, her words coming out in a flurry. 

 

Saying how that shouldn't have happened, that she and they shouldn't have just done that, that it wasn't right, repeating that she was sorry and that it was 'wrong', getting to her feet and quickly leaving the room and then the flat, the sound of the front door being shut echoing around the flat and especially Nova's ears, somehow that noise that she didn't even think about normally, suddenly seemed louder to her, more severe, along with a coldness that breezed over her at the lack of being near and having Serena close, the other woman making her feel a heady warmth inside and out, something she'd never experienced with any other woman she'd kissed before, or anyone else in general.

 

Still in a haze of the kiss itself, Serena's reaction and the fact she'd just up and left, claiming that the kiss shouldn't haven't happened, Nova found herself anchored to the sofa, her mind trying to take in all the events of the past few minutes, still being able to smell Serena's perfume on her t shirt that had transferred itself when they'd been hugging and also during the kiss, her lips flushed and still a little tepid after being pressed against the older woman's, so much so that Nova slowly raised her hand to touch her lips, a flash of Serena's being against hers and feeling so soft and nice not minutes ago, and now she was gone.

 

Did she really think that it wasn't right?  
Or was that a 'cover' that the older woman was choosing to use.  
A fear?  
A form of denial?


	9. Chapter 9

A kiss.  
Between us.  
That actually happened.  
We kissed.  
I kissed her and she kissed me.  
Equally.  
Fifty fifty.  
She's younger than me.  
Younger by twenty plus years.  
An F1.  
Under her watch.  
And it shouldn't have happened.  
It was 'wrong'.

 

So many thoughts were rushing around her head, it'd been on her mind since it'd happened, unable to shift said thoughts, but was she trying to convince herself that it was 'wrong'?

 

And so she attempted to just carry on as 'normal', going into work the next day and acting, or trying to act as if nothing had happened, just getting on with things.  
Not long after she'd made her way onto the ward, Nova followed, the young woman not saying anything to her as she did so, just making her way to the files of the patients who were on the ward, choosing a couple to deal with and then making her way over to the first one of the shift.

 

But this couldn't last long.  
They were working on the same ward.  
With nowhere else to go.  
In the same orbit.  
A relatively small space.  
Not going out of it anytime soon.  
They had to enter each other's space one way or another, this seemed to happen only a couple of hours into the shift.

 

She needed to use the computer at the nurse's station, and it just so happened that the surgeon was sat at the other computer at this exact time. 

 

Taking up the free chair and bringing up the window she needed on the screen, a few taps on the keyboard, Nova looked at the older woman beside her out of the corner of her eye, surprised but not at the same time, when she saw Serena move her eyes back to her own screen, an action that said to Nova that the woman next to her had had her brown eyes on her, glancing at her, and that she'd clocked the F1 looking at her at the same time, what is it they say, great minds think alike and all that?  
Both of them typed on the keyboards at the same time for a few minutes, then there were pauses for both women, and then continued to type, it was Nova who then paused again, wrote something on one of the patients files, and then exited the screens she'd been using, clearing them off for the next person who wanted to use said computer.  
Rising from her chair, she could've walked back in the same direction that she came in when approaching the computer, but instead she took the decision to walk around the back of where the surgeon was sitting, her eyes drifting to wander up Serena's back, the way her short hair, with flecks of blonde and silver in it stopped just above the collar of her blouse, would she be ticklish if you blew lightly here, or would she like being kissed here? 

 

Just as she got level with the older woman after a couple of steps she reached her right hand out, her fingertips barely there, brushing ever so slightly the space in between the surgeon's shoulder blades, thank god there was no one close by enough to watch or glance what she was doing, the busy ward did have it uses sometimes, in certain circumstances.   
One minute she was sat at the computer minding her own business, well alright with a little glance to the young woman sat beside her, well Nova did it first, didn't she?   
The next thing she felt was a jolt, a shiver, both together, an automatic reaction to the touch, well if it could be called a touch since it was barely there and not even on her skin, yet she had such an instant and almost unconscious reaction to it, one that she couldn't control, that she couldn't help.

 

Barely there touches making you feel like a spark of electricity has hit you are they Campbell?  
Touches from a certain someone.  
Add in the fact that you've shared a kiss with her.

 

Serena's eyes left the computer screen and followed the woman in question as she passed by her and away, across to the patient she'd gone to deal with, fully aware that Nova no doubt saw her shiver and jolt as she touched her, yes she definitely saw that.

 

It was like she couldn't help herself but look at the younger woman, she knew it was probably not exactly the right thing to be doing, but her eyes seemed drawn like magnets when it came to Nova, especially after the contact she'd just experienced, as much as she tried to force her eyes to stay on the screen and her work, they wouldn't, they were pulled away from all this and straight to the figure currently stood across the ward, the file she had previously held now vacated to the holder at the foot of the bed, and now she was interacting with the patient, with Serena's attention on her, the surgeon's eyes were determined that she would look at Nova whether she wanted to or not, or should that be she tried to tell herself that she didn't want to look at the younger woman, but her body was just giving and doing what deep down she truly wanted to do, just like it'd done the same the other night at the other woman's house when they'd kissed.

 

Bloody body.  
Reacting to a barely there touch from her.  
She's not even properly touched me and that's how I react, how you react.  
Because I didn't do it, you did.  
You react for me don't you?  
You react...  
Finding herself pausing from inwardly cursing herself, to actually repeat and take in what she'd just been saying.  
Her body reacts for her.  
It does and reacts how she wants towards Nova.  
How she wants.  
Not how she doesn't want.  
But how she does.  
Because of her attraction to the other woman.  
Because you do like her don't you Campbell?!


	10. Chapter 10

Pushed.  
Forced.  
Put together.

 

Whichever it was it was currently the situation that Serena and Nova found themselves in, neither woman able to avoid working with each other, the problem of Nova being the F1 and under the guidance, mentoring of the surgeon, so they were working together whether they actually felt they wanted to or not.

 

It'd been this way most of the day, communicating but only briefly and only about work, nothing else at all, all of that was a no no for them.

 

If the truth had been told, it was more Serena who had been more awkward out of the two of them, a little bit more difficult, trying to avoid looking at Nova and making eye contact, but this had also become impossible, they were colleagues for god sakes, and these things when they worked together on the same ward was basically impossible.  
Back into the haven that was her office, Serena worked at her computer, her fingers tapping on the keyboard, but her mind kept drifting, wandering, and there was only one person it was going to, ruminating, thinking, all about the kiss that she and Nova had had, and what it had meant, if anything at all.

 

"I'm not going to say anything if that's what the problem is" the voice and statement that broke her thoughts as Nova came into the office, she'd seen exactly how Serena had been behaving, and particularly towards and around her. "I wouldn't ever say anything to anyone because I'm not like that, I have respect for you, a lot actually despite what you or others may think" setting the discharge papers that she'd brought in for the older woman, down on the edge of her desk and then turning on her heels and exiting the office, not giving Serena the chance to say anything back.

 

Did she have a point?  
That she'd not actually said anything to anyone?  
No one on the ward, or in the hospital had been behaving any differently towards her.  
Nothing at all to suggest that the F1 had uttered one word to anyone.  
The only person who'd been acting a little different was herself.  
Maybe Nova was respectful like she'd said.  
And the truth was she'd not said anything to anyone due to being respectful.

 

And this had carried on for the remainder of the shift, continuing to prove Nova's words as truth, the staff all just being and working as normal, just a normal day on AAU. It just continued to prove Nova's honesty, her integrity, her respect, that she'd not said anything to anyone about Serena coming around to her place, nor had she mentioned a single word about the kiss that they'd both shared.

 

Maybe you've underestimated this side of her too Campbell?

 

When the shift had finished, some of the AAU staff headed to Albie's for a well deserved drink.  
Serena along with Fletch, Donna and a couple of the other staff made their way to one of the one remaining tables with the comfy sofas around them, Nova offering to get the first round in for them all, taking a note on her phone of what they all wanted to drink, taking her bag and coat off and leaving them where she was sitting on one of the sofas, the merest of glances between her and Serena and then to the bar she went.

 

Sitting back and not really being all that engaged in the various conversations that were going on around her, and the general hum of noise in the bar, her attention at a certain person who was waiting at the bar to be served, then seeing another woman approach Nova at the bar, a woman who was around the same age of the F1, this made her sit up more in her seat, trying to relieve a pang in her stomach at the image across the bar.

 

What was this pang?  
Jealousy?  
Surely not?  
Serena Campbell jealous?  
It suddenly appearing when the stranger came into her eye line and next to Nova.

 

Moving to the edge of her seat, her brown eyes fixed on the two women stood at the bar talking, Nova saying something that made the other woman laugh.

 

That did it.  
That was the trigger that got the surgeon to her feet.  
Straight to her feet and across to the bar.

 

Moving alongside them both she mumbled something about wanting to speak to Nova, so much so that after paying for her drink the other woman made a swift exit and into the crowd of Albie's, Nova softly frowning at the surgeon beside her, surprised at the fact that Serena was next her right then and there.

 

"So what can I do for you?" Nova asked seen as she said she wanted to talk to her.  
"I just wondered if you needed a help with the drinks" an answer that in no way convinced Nova, the younger woman seeing this wasn't what Serena had come over for since it was written all over her face.

 

Then a pause.  
Then another one.  
A third.

 

"If this is really what you want to keep telling yourself then fair dos, but we both know why you really came over, it was because of that other woman. That you like me, but won't or aren't being honest about it, first and foremost to yourself, let alone to me" taking another pause before adding softly. "Am I that bad that you can't be honest, with either of us?" one final glance at Serena and then a light scoff at the entire exchange, picking up the tray of drinks still sat on the bar, and carefully weaving her way through the little crowd near the bar, and over to the rest of the staff, leaving a silent Serena at the bar, her eyes transfixed on the younger woman, never had someone been so blunt and to the point with her, giving her the questions to make her question herself.


End file.
